The Discomfort of Coming into Balance

An relevant essay on the equality movements happening throughout the world as I see, feel and know.

 

Many people talk with me about the chaos that is going on in the world as it relates to gender equality, racial equality, financial and economic equality and as I see this, equality has its price.  There is a cost to what you now see and want, and what you wish there to be.

 

"Every intention towards the equality movement, puts the energy of equality into motion."

 

What people really want is a balanced state with no balancing occurring. They want Change, but they want the end result right away. The balancing process is too uncomfortable.  Our addiction to the internet, instant gratification will only highlight this more until we release the control and accept the willingness that things need to unfold and that patience and trust is our ticket.  The balance is what we intend on, the balancing act is that energy in motion, but in balancing there is inevitable discomfort of viewing, accepting, and transforming the imbalance.

 

Let’s take the gender equality balancing act that is occurring right now and has been for many years.  For many cultures across the world, and I speak more with a North American viewpoint here, women were and still are seen as sexual objects.  A means to satisfying (or at least we think) an objective.  This objective regardless of what it is, is the end goal.  The objective in a broad sense is satisfaction, it is an act, just like any addictive behaviour in satisfying what is not, or what we feel don’t have in order to feel complete. Whole again.

 

As I see it, sexual imbalance across the planet is due to years of suppressing our true Authentic nature, and innate understanding of sexual energetic nature and what it means to feel sexual energy and use it for our promotion rather than demotion.  This brings an understanding that this powerful energy, that some traditions call Kundalini, or Shakti energy, does not always need to be used in the act of having sex with someone.  For most cultures that cultivate this sexual energy it also does not require us to “expel” that energy at all unless in the act of creation, especially comparative to the “quick, get-it-done” culture we have grown into thinking is the right way.

 

I digress, this article is intended to focus on balance, but I needed to draw context in order for it to click. The balance in this gender equality situation requires a few different things that I hopefully will do it justice by classifying it into three categories: The victims, the perpetrators, and the neutral bystanders.

The victims in this instance are anyone who has been sexually abused, assaulted, controlled, or has felt suppressed because of their gender role. This includes men, woman, bi-sexual, homosexual, transsexual etc.

 

If we as a society have experienced this for years, ingrained it into our habitual understanding of our worldview, and it has been suppressed and not talked about openly, then what are we expecting needs to happen to bring it into balance?  What we have been made to feel and define as chaos, and what the folks that want orderly “do-as-your-told individuals” consider bad, is what we actually need to manifest what we want.

 

Upheaval, revolt, riots, protests, this is all considered bad… but is it? Isn’t this the balancing? With our movement into balance, people are being outed, people are speaking up, we are becoming aware of heinous acts of sexual and gender-based injustice that is unfathomable, especially on the macro and uncomfortable micro scales that this is being brought to.  

 

This is not a celebrity issue, this is not a political issue, this is not an educational issue, this is a HUMAN issue. This is a HUMAN balancing act. 

 

We are all humans, we are not separate from these institutions, but we can either fight against them, or use them as springboards for Change. We can observe them as reflections of our inner turmoil as a catalyst to recognize the balance we wish to see in the World.

 

Unfortunately to our instant gratification mind, Change does not indicate immediate balance, it requires well… change.  The scale does not immediately come to a balanced position when force is opposed, there is a teetering process, which means the opposing side has its own force back, this can be expected. 

Change as we have come to know it does not start with laws that impose behaviours or control mechanisms on one another, although even in our resistance to control mechanisms we can clearly see a sign of a balancing process occurring.  Legalities are an attempt to shift into balance as well, and some are very beneficial to the promotion of our Change intentions.  

 

Balance comes in us recognizing the imbalances of our society, becoming aware of the situation, acutely aware of the pain, recognizing and stalking the pain into the shadowy corners of our inner ally-ways and saying to ourselves: “is this something I want to carry forward?” “Is this something I want my children or future generations to carry on”? If you are in the camp that wants the planet and the people to find balance, then chances are your answer to these questions is “No, I do not want this for our planet.”

 

Well in my Co-Creative coaching model with Channels of Flow, our human creative abilities are based on rudimentary principals that don’t really change.  They will always be.   They are Universal in that they would work here as much as they would work anywhere else in our Universe that is ever expanding (1 trillion galaxies and counting each with 1 trillion or more stars…….) These principals have always been at work whether you knew it or not.  

 

Once your awareness accepts these primary principals of Co-Creation, you will begin to see how everything is for a reason, and everything is interconnected.  Our decisions and intentions have enormous impact on our lives and the lives of others.

 

An important step in Co-Creative model states that in order for us to create, we create with positive affirmation of what we know to be, rather than what we don’t want to be.  I am energetically anticipating the anti-affirmation camp to chime in that affirmations don’t do anything, we can’t just put our head in the sand... yada yada yada.

 

Well, I’m with you that we can’t ignore the emotions, beliefs, and DNA that make up everything, they influence our thought and intentions, and inevitably what shows up.  But I do want to highlight that they are also symbolic of the change.  If we affirm and get the opposite, there lies clearly our access point to change, so they do hold a purpose. If we do not hold opposing energy around what we affirm, well, we get it and we get it quick.  Affirmations can also be used to get ourselves out of the immediate fire of not being able to coherently think or feel our way through a situation. 

 

Affirmations have purpose, benefit, if we first understand how to navigate when reality shows up.

 

So if what we want or “know to be” is not what we have, what happens? Well we affirm that we know world peace, and if we look at the media outlets (which are all vying for your fear-based attention) we see that we are getting the opposite, the turmoil. Why would this be?

 

I can talk forever about media and the control mechanisms, but believe me there are enormous initiatives that are not getting highlighted that are radically Changing how the world operates. Change is happening at a huge, exponential, “you-can’t-stop-me” pace, please trust in that. The opposing media story is meant for us to not-trust and to fall back into the camp of us feeling Change is impossible.

 

A large part of society, including males who have awakened out of their sexually imbalanced sleep are also in this camp of wanting the Change, we actually do not want to feel like or be called “the perpetrator”, but this is another topic for another time, there is healing in this too.  So we’re all waking up to a new way of being, we set the intention in motion that we want change, well what happens? Change. But wait, this doesn’t feel peaceful, balanced, unifying and fulfilling. It feels ugly, resentful, painful, and separate.  I am mad at what happened. I am triggered in emotional pain of sadness, hurt, resentment at what is happening.  This really fucking hurts.

 

The normal reaction when something really fucking hurts is to shut it down, we don’t want that right now, we want peace, resolve, grounding, fulfillment, we want to feel comfortable, after-all this is what most are doing right now in trying to seek comfort in Change. 

 

The Change is both the means and the end, the outcome and the process. To experience any sort of comfort, we must, and this is a big statement, we must be aware of, feel, accept and transform discomfort.

 

Discomfort will come in many shapes and sizes for different people, it is not a one-size-fits-all. In fact, the discomfort may appear one way to one person and a completely different way to another in the exact same situation.  The subconscious mind and the pain that we carry in our emotional bodies and DNA will form our perspective of the world.  In this pain you are not alone and as unique as you think. In your magnificence, you are a unique drop of water in the vast ocean absolutely, but in the pain, we are not as unique as we think. There is another you walking this planet, or many Yous, with the same challenges, frustrations, and triggered reactions, albeit different storyboard. 

 

The society that built these control mechanisms that induce our triggered reactions couldn’t possibly manage it all with an infinite amount of different pain bodies, they needed to consolidate. So first things first, rest in that you are not alone, regardless of how the control mechanism makes you feel, rest in your accompaniment with others that experience a similar perceived pain. We are meant to feel that we are unique or special (which we are in Authenticity) but in our pain or controlled state, we are grouped into concentration camps. We are made to feel unique in this pain so that we can feel alone, helpless, and dependent on externalities to come in and save the day, finding the other slipper that will magically make everything feel good again.

 

“The Change is available when we become Ok in accepting and processing the Pain.”

 

So we intend on Change, we see the Change, and we immediately do not want to Be the Change. Wait, I ordered a split pea soup and I got a bowl of carrots… well not exactly. The pea soup you ordered is coming, but when we resist the change, the cook gets confused. You want pea soup (Change), but now you don’t want carrots (Change process), or do you want more of the same? But now you don’t want the Change?…. You want balance, but the balancing act is too uncomfortable, so really I just don’t want imbalance… hmmm… “Give me immediate balance”, cries the timid soldier not willing to brave the battle field.

 

Well when we become aware of the imbalance, we do just that, we become aware of the imbalance as our new view. When we heal the wounds that come from this inner-imbalance, we can then choose how we respond to viewing the imbalance on a collective level, with more clarity around the situation.

 

Right now, more than ever, we are being connected in this interconnected web of information, most of which unfortunately is misinformation and it is no wonder we don’t want the imbalance, it is poking us between the eyes and for good reasons, it keeps us down. The web of misinformation is another topic for another day as I believe it is a direct reflection of our coming into balance or imbalance with our intuitive selves.

 

The imbalance or the perceived pain will unconsciously try to keep you second guessing what it is that you actually do want, it keeps you mad, angry, and resentful, all of us unconsciously forming our separation camps which again keeps the consolidated inevitable. It is easier to control when we form control groups, or groups that are easier to control.

 

So how do we navigate this? Well one would be trust, but it is easier said than done. Like in the restaurant, when we order the pea soup, we trust that the server will pass that information along, that the cook will receive it, that everyone will do what they need to do to get it done. Do you ever ask the server how you want the cook to show up? How you want them dressed, what you want them to say, how you want them to feel? Do you ever ask one of your trillions of cells how to respond in case of a fight or flight situation? No it just does. It happens. We trust.

Our body may be fighting an illness, but we feel that it is in our best interest to worry about the process, when in fact the worry breeds more sickness.  

 

But when we see something or feel something so discomforting, how do we trust that what we want at a soul level, the Change we so desperately wish to see will unfold? How?

 

When we see the quote “Be The Change We Wish to See in the World”, which I have on my living room wall, there is a balancing act that is occurring.  As within, so without.  As above, so below.  Everything that is happening on a macro, external level is also happening within a collective consciousness, across all of humanity. There is a shift happening, our awareness is being drawn to it, and sorry to say, there is ugliness and it won’t stop until we deal with our own internal ugliness. Which no matter how many affirmations of You are Love and Light you say, this will cause the Hate and Darkness to surface, which is a GREAT THING, hence my advocacy for affirmations (if we are willing to accept and deal with the pain.)

 

This pain, is the pain that hurts to be a victim, regardless of story. The pain that hurts and drives us to be perpetrators, regardless of story. The pain that needed to be shed and transformed to get back to a neutral and autonomous way of being.

 

On my transformative journey, I see my world coming into balance through the imbalances I see, feel, and know.  I have lived some of my hardest times looking at the pain that was buried inside of me, allowing it to surface can be incredibly painful, but what is on the other side of that is the greatest beauty and gift we can give each other: Authenticity, you’re true self and way of being.  

 

I was hurt around a lot of different topics, including sexuality, and now in being aware, accepting, and releasing the pain, the Change process occurs, but it may certainly not be pretty to those experiencing from an outside view.

 

Simply put, internally we are hurt, we are releasing the pain. Therefore externally, we are hurt, and we are releasing the pain, this inevitably comes with any Change, this is Balance, it will never be another way.

 

We must utilize tools and traditional techniques for moderating and navigating the surfacing of the imbalance which as I’ve been stating IS THE CHANGE!

 

I mentioned previously that there are three groups here, the Victims, The Perpetrators, and the Neutral (I don’t see the huge issue here).

 

Well at one point or another we were and probably still are all Victims. We are living someone else’s story, even the neutral camp that may be feeling bothered by the excessive back and forth from the other camps.

 

The pain that awareness brings is that we were living someone else’s story, that the story does not serve us anymore, and that we never really ever had a choice in what we wanted to do with our lives.  This isn’t the case for all, but most. We were all victims at one point. The perps hurt because they’ve been hurt. The victims are hurt because they have hurt in their field, possibly due to ancestral lineage or experiences they continue to hold onto, unable to release. The Neutral camp had to come through the hurt into the balance state, but that was a painful journey in its own and now they witness the hurt in choice of how to respond.

 

All of us have to release the Victim or hurt in order to come into balance. The great thing I can tell you, is that this is completely doable, we have the wisdom innate inside that others can guide you towards.

 

I have been guided towards processes that transmute this pain so that we can bring Clarity and Choice back into a confusing and controlled way of being and now act as a guide.

 

Full circle, in the gender equality conversation, coming into balance means looking at our pain of feeling oppressed, suppressed, abused, assaulted, controlled. Part of it means looking at our intentions to control, to oppress, to suppress, to abuse, and assault. And even if this is not on a conscious level, I would like to place a good wager that most men if they have not yet journeyed more into a more balanced state sexually, hold the perp energy in their unconscious mind, and they do this because they too are hurting, and those that have come before were hurting.

 

We react out in anger, control and violence because we’re hurt. We try to inflict the pain on others because we just want to be heard that it really fucking hurts to be me right now, can you please take this on with me?

 

You are not alone, nor will you ever be.

 

We need more than ever right now, tools to help us navigate the change with resilience.  The Change is not something that is comfortable, nor is worrying about every step the pea soup has to go through in order to enter into your mouth.  There is trust, that it is all working out.  If it helps to continuously think about the Change, that can work, and will probably be needed given the amount of opposing evidence that we live in an imbalanced society comes up. But remember that focusing on what we know to be will surface what is not that, we will see what is not that.  We are brought here to feel, we need to see imbalance and feel imbalance in order to feel the Change we wish to seek. 

 

We are feelers put into a thinking society, coming back into balance with our natural rhythms of being.By meditating, being out in nature, focusing on relating with one another more, focusing on the things that matter and what bring us joy, grounding ourselves to the earth and holding on for the ride are things that will help us through the shift to balance, for there is beauty and growth in the imbalance too.

 

Always remember your breath, it is your ticket back into the state of neutrality where you can begin to choose your destiny, your response, and your action to be accepting of the Change you wish to see in the world.

 

Peace is What I Know.

Jon Martin ~ See, Feel, Know your Channels of Flow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empowering and Inspiring Individuals to Clearly and Consciously Co-Create Anything. With Purpose and Passion. For life.

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